For perfectionism. I know the first step in solving my problem is admitting that it exists. I've never actually denied it, but I may be powerless before it. My latest bout of perfectionism has reared it's head because of this.
The pattern is Bias Blanket by the very talented Jennifer Casa and there are currently 4 versions of this pattern being knitted by various folks in this house. Honestly though, I'll probably be the only one who finishes any sort of blanket. My girls don't always have staying power when it comes to knitting projects. No matter, once they officially throw in the towel, I'll tear back the 1/3, 5/8, or whatever fraction of a completed blanket they have and reclaim the yarn. More for me.
I'm afraid though that before I rip back their blankets, I'll rip back mine. I love so much about this blanket, the easy, carefree knitting, the bold diagonal stripes, and the soft cotton yarn. What I'm not loving has more to do with my own excessive sense of perfectionism than the pattern. My blanket is not turning out square, but more diamond shaped. Most likely I made some mistake along the way or the fact that the blanket combines garter along the edges and stockinette in the center doesn't work for me because my tensions vary too much. Whatever the reason I'm not crafting the polygon I want and I'm starting to obsess about it.
When I first started knitting the blanket I didn't have a recipient in mind, just a lot of worsted weight cotton yarn. Now, however, I not only have an intended giftee, but a deadline. It's not next week, but April, so I've got plenty of time to re-knit the blanket, but only if I act decisively now. No hemming and hawing and trying to convince myself that diamonds really are a girl's best friend. After all my the soon-to-be born recipient is a boy. So, though I should stand in front of you all and declare, "Hi, my name is Malka and I am a perfectionaholic," I'm going to give in to my addiction just one more time and make this blanket exactly like the semi-compulsive me envisioned it.
After that I'll quit. Because I can. Anytime I want.